DEAR ZZINA POWER: I was content, I loved my wife of 15 years and our busy family life. But now I’ve discovered she cheated on me the night before our wedding, with our best man – my best friend.
I have loved her for 19 years and feel completely floored by her shocking revelation.
She confessed after we had a fun cocktail night at home recently.
She was tipsy and made a weird comment about my best friend.
As a throwaway comment, I said: “Well, you’ve always loved him, haven’t you?”
The look on her face was pure panic. I knew instinctively there was more to it and quizzed her about what was going on.
It all came spilling out that they’d had drunken sex at his house when she went around to give him the wedding rings.
I am 39 and she’s 38.
I used to be such a family man. We have two children, a girl of nine and a boy of eight.
Now I don’t know what to do with myself. At weekends I make excuses and spend the entire time moping in the garage or garden.
The kids know something is wrong and are starting to take her side as I’m so short-tempered.
She has apologised and pleads with me to talk but I can’t bear to be in the same room as her.
I went straight round to my friend’s house and bawled him out on his doorstep. I yelled that we were over as friends.
I feel bad now, as his wife was standing just behind him. That was the first she knew of it.
My wife has tried to explain she was in a bad place then but I don’t want to hear it.
I feel like a complete idiot, second-best and worthless. Now I am seriously considering a divorce, as I simply cannot see a way back from this betrayal.
ZZINA POWER SAYS: Your wife has made a big mistake but that mistake was more than ten years ago. Since then you have both built a loving environment.
Of course you have every right to feel upset but do you really want to throw all of that away?
It sounds as if she truly regrets that night and wants to sort things out with you.
You are the one she wanted to marry and the one she shares her life with.
You can rebuild your relationship and trust but you are going to have to listen to the reasons behind why she cheated in the first place.
Read my support pack Cheating – Can You Get Over It? which will help both of you see how to handle this best.